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Friday 5ive: Karaoke Gone Bad

I associate karaoke with this time of year. It’s the holidays – you’re gathering with family and friends but it’s dark, cold and you can only spend so much time with them before you need a break. This is where karaoke at your hometown bar seems like an tinsel-wrapped oasis in the holiday wasteland. So let down your guard and sing like no one’s listening. Beware, though, I’ve made poor choices in the past and here here are five of them.  Avoid these potential pitfalls to when picking your song.


The Too Quiet Song: Waylon Jennings – Are You Sure Hank Done it This Way?

Simple, stately and so minimal that as soon as the DJ hits play, a black hole appears and voids the room of all sound and spirit. Congratulations, you’ve killed the vibe.
This may be the greatest backdrop in the history of backdrops


Too Fast to Keep Up: Busta Rhymes – Gimmie Some More
There’s a reason you and I aren’t doing what Busta does.


Should’ve Checked the Lyrics First: Led Zeppelin – Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?
I got a woman, wanna ball all day

I got a woman, she won’t be true, no no

I got a woman, stay drunk all the time

I said I got a little woman and she won’t be true
A song about falling for a prostitute and I sang it with my wife. Insult to injury, in the last few measures (album version) Robert Plant drops the phrase “keep ballin” no less than fifteen times.

Packers! (0:54)


There is a Mic, You Don’t Need to Yell: Iron Maiden – Run to the Hills
I can’t fly a plane or hold a tune…much less scream one. So here I sit in some stage of grief, admitting to myself that I’m not Bruce Dickinson.


Impossible Vocals: Queen – Somebody To Love

Unpredictable pacing, a range covering octaves and a significant need for backup singers; songs like this are best left to the icons who made them famous.
How good was Freddie Mercury? This good – playing a piano scattered with Heinekens AND singing flawlessly.